This was a lot of fun to read! I like the mix of sci-fi and seemingly absurdist elements; filtered through the main character's strong personality it produces a really striking effect. Would definitely be interested in reading more set in this world.
Quite an interesting mix of elements in your story. I would have struggled trying to come up with an idea how to include a snake in a setting focused around protests and transhumans.
Thanks Michael. I think our discussion on your A.I. essay was the spark I needed to "finish" this. I had been stuck without an ending for a couple days!
Hey Martin, thanks for reading and commenting! I hope you are doing well too. Yes, the transhumans I envisioned as being humanoid-ish AI robots. What was it that made you feel weird, I am very interested to know!
Haha, that makes sense. Thank you, Martin. By the way, I need more grocery store poetry! If you release a self-published book of grocery store poems I will definitely buy it.
Awesome! I have read many of Joyce Carol Oates short stories in the past, but I haven't read any of her novels. I will definitely be checking this one out, thanks for the comment, Ricardo!
Just: bravo, Alex! You create amazing tension, making us want to keep going and discover what’s coming next. You build such a strange, mysterious atmosphere, with some characters and moments seeming to exist solely to add mystery. Certain patterns are hard to understand but have a profound effect on my subconscious and mind. There’s also a lot of silliness and absurdity that balances it out and gives a sense of authenticity (the first paragraph with the character’s tendency to love cooking but hate eating is genius). I love the worlds you create!!!!!
My highlights:
So, there I was scraping my breakfast plate down the toilet. I love cooking but I hate eating. And I really like scraping full plates straight into the garbage disposal and turning that bad boy on for the grinding power of it all.
But then my transhuman speakered at me to ask if I accepted x y and z updates to my Screens.
Someone grabbed the end of the cart and we tug-o-warred it back and forth.
Throw this piece of junk out, he screamed at me, a glazed-over inhuman look on his face was plain to see. (inhuman look as he’s ironically blaming the transhumans for not being humans, such a great detail!!)
Thanks a lot Brian! I am not sure if it is part of a larger work, but I think I will come back to this in a few months and revise it because I think there is a lot more to explore.
This was a lot of fun to read! I like the mix of sci-fi and seemingly absurdist elements; filtered through the main character's strong personality it produces a really striking effect. Would definitely be interested in reading more set in this world.
Awesome, thanks Gareth! I also felt like there was a bit more to explore. Maybe I will revise and add after letting it sit a couple months.
Quite an interesting mix of elements in your story. I would have struggled trying to come up with an idea how to include a snake in a setting focused around protests and transhumans.
Thanks Michael. I think our discussion on your A.I. essay was the spark I needed to "finish" this. I had been stuck without an ending for a couple days!
I'm so happy to hear I was able to help!
The whole time I was thinking transsexuals. This one made me feel weird but there was some cool sentences in there.
Are they robots? Is this pondering the rights of computers?
I also found it funny the anti-Transhumans were the ones blocking the roads because that is usually a behavior I associate with the left.
Hope all is going well, Alex!
Hey Martin, thanks for reading and commenting! I hope you are doing well too. Yes, the transhumans I envisioned as being humanoid-ish AI robots. What was it that made you feel weird, I am very interested to know!
It was the description of clogged toilets and percentages for everyday trash.
Hope you’re doing great!
Haha, that makes sense. Thank you, Martin. By the way, I need more grocery store poetry! If you release a self-published book of grocery store poems I will definitely buy it.
The sort of fragmented narration style in your story reminded me of Zombie by Joyce Carol Oates.
Awesome! I have read many of Joyce Carol Oates short stories in the past, but I haven't read any of her novels. I will definitely be checking this one out, thanks for the comment, Ricardo!
My pleasure, man. Keep at it.
Just: bravo, Alex! You create amazing tension, making us want to keep going and discover what’s coming next. You build such a strange, mysterious atmosphere, with some characters and moments seeming to exist solely to add mystery. Certain patterns are hard to understand but have a profound effect on my subconscious and mind. There’s also a lot of silliness and absurdity that balances it out and gives a sense of authenticity (the first paragraph with the character’s tendency to love cooking but hate eating is genius). I love the worlds you create!!!!!
My highlights:
So, there I was scraping my breakfast plate down the toilet. I love cooking but I hate eating. And I really like scraping full plates straight into the garbage disposal and turning that bad boy on for the grinding power of it all.
But then my transhuman speakered at me to ask if I accepted x y and z updates to my Screens.
Someone grabbed the end of the cart and we tug-o-warred it back and forth.
Throw this piece of junk out, he screamed at me, a glazed-over inhuman look on his face was plain to see. (inhuman look as he’s ironically blaming the transhumans for not being humans, such a great detail!!)
I hung up the phone and now I was not alone.
Thank you man! Much appreciated, I hope you enjoyed the time it took to read it.
Thanks a lot Brian! I am not sure if it is part of a larger work, but I think I will come back to this in a few months and revise it because I think there is a lot more to explore.